


Lady Sif

by Adaobi



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-16
Updated: 2014-08-26
Packaged: 2018-02-04 20:08:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1791634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adaobi/pseuds/Adaobi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Sif was sent through the Bifrost, not Thor. Based on the film. NOTE: Thor is Sif's dead grandfather, so no Thor (except when Sif & the Warriors Three swear).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New Mexico

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Heimdall stands at the Bifrost, looks down at a puny human on Earth, he sees her waving frantically, yelling for him, he wonders if she's in peril, he's intrigued. She's been doing this for about 20 minutes, so he whispers her name and asks "What do you want child? Are you in grave danger? Is your realm in peril?". She replies "No. I just wanted to tell you I own nothing."

Darcy Lewis wonders why she’s sitting here in the middle of the night, at the wheel of a converted jeep with 2 scientists, in the Puente Antiguo desert in New Mexico, staring at nothingness, all for a measly 6 college credits? Astrophysicist Jane Foster and her mentor Dr. Erik Selvig might be experts in their field, but they were definitely not experts in fun. Darcy takes a mental note, _“Note to self: never bring them on stakeouts or stalking sessions. They don’t know the value of good music and munchies”_

“The last 17 occurrences have been predictable to the second” she overhears Jane telling Erik, Darcy zones out _“Seriously, I could be playing Halo – I hate Halo, I could be watching The Notebook – I think my brain’s been hijacked by boredom, anything’s better than stari- What the frak is that?!”_ Darcy notices something through the side mirror “Err...Jane, I think you want to see this...” Darcy keeps looking at the side mirror, while Jane and Eric look through the roof.

Erik gasps “I thought you said it was a subtle aurora”, the very beautiful, but not subtle aurora grows. Jane yells “Go!”, Darcy shifts into drive and floors it, Jane and Erik sit back in the jeep, Jane in the passenger seat, Erik at the back. Jane takes out a camcorder, “Get closer” she says. Darcy responds sarcastically, with a quick side glance “Right. Good one.”

“Go” Jane yells again, Darcy obeys, as they get closer to the now scary looking vortex, that is definitely not a subtle aurora. Darcy remembers her mortality as they watch the vortex hit the ground. It seems like it’s depositing something. Darcy decides that it’s not worth it.

“What are you doing?” Jane yells slightly irritated as Darcy turns the wheel.

“I am not dying for 6 college credits!” Darcy exclaims. Jane forcibly takes the wheel. As they struggle, the vortex is making a deposit of thunder, lightning, furious blues, while stirring a whole lot of sand. The occupants of the jeep miss this beautiful view, but one of them notices the clear presence of danger and death, while the other 2 really want to get closer to this potential answer to the mysteries of the universe.

During the struggle, they all fail to notice the presence of the lone figure that was deposited by the vortex, until they hit it. The jeep skids to a stop, they all get out, with their flash lights, to meet the figure.

“I think that was legally your fault” Darcy defends, _“Crazy chick took the wheel”_ she silently adds.

“Get the first aid kit” Jane responds, while running towards the figure, with Erik close behind. Darcy runs back to the jeep to get said first aid kit.

On meeting the figure, Jane and Erik see a dark haired woman clad in leather boots, trousers and a loose fitting shirt, on the ground.

“Please...don’t be dead” Jane panics as she bends over the woman, Darcy returns with the first aid kit and gasps “Where did she come from?”

The woman takes in a deep breath and wakes up, she stares at Darcy.

“Whoa. Do you need CPR? Because I totally know CPR” Darcy responds, the woman keeps staring at Darcy then she passes out.

“Where did she come from?” Jane wonders out loud

 _“This just got interesting, who knew Xena, Warrior Princess, was in Puente Antiguo, New Mexico? I really want to give her CPR, I’ve got the first aid kit and everything”_ Darcy wonders as she makes a mental checklist for her awesomeness in CPR-ing.

The woman wakes up again, gets up in a state, yelling “Heimdall?! Heimdall?!”, but in her current state of discombobulation, it sounds like she’s yelling “Hammered! Hammered!”

“Yeah, we can tell you’re hammered. It’s pretty obvious” Darcy deadpans.

“Oh, my God. Erik, look at this” Jane gasps, she notices the pattern on ground that the dark haired woman is walking over. Jane is concerned that it would fade away soon, she wants to take notes and pictures. Erik is concerned about the woman’s health, “We need to take her to a hospital” he says.

“She’s fine, look at her.” Jane says, marvelling at the pattern.

 _“Yup, Xena’s hella fine.”_ Darcy mentally concurs.

“Father!” the mysterious woman yells. “Heimdall! I know you hear me! Open the Bifrost!” she continues.

“Hospital...you go, I’ll stay” Jane says.

“You” the mysterious woman points at Erik, “What realm is this?” she asks, “Alfheim? Nomheim?”

Darcy takes a few steps back and goes to the side, out of the mystery woman’s view.

“Ok, Xena you’re hot and all, but this is getting a little cray cray” she whispers, while getting out her trusty taser gun.

“New Mexico” Darcy responds to the mystery woman’s question.

The woman turns to the voice, “You dare threaten me, Lady Sif, with so puny a weapon?” she taunts.

Darcy fires her taser gun directly at the woman’s chest. Sif drops to the ground after a dazzling display of fits. Jane and Erik look at Darcy in shock.

“What? Xena was freaking me out.” Darcy deadpans.

Erik carries the now unconscious woman into the jeep, “Darcy, next time you taser someone, make sure they are already in the car!” he complains. He sets her into the back seat.

“Err...my bad, but Xena was kinda acting cuckoo and she looked like she could actually kick our collective asses.”

Jane was still taking notes, pictures and recordings of the pattern, intrigued by its beauty and its importance.

After making sure Sif was secure, Erik yells for Jane to remind her they need to leave. As they drive off to the hospital, Darcy has a sly smile on her face as she mentally summarises her night. _“There was a not so subtle aurora, I almost died, I met Xena, she was fine, very hammered, slightly cuckoo, I tasered her. Not bad, those 6 credits might actually be worth it.”_


	2. Lady Sif, Goddess of Thunder & War

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Lady Sif in the throes of battle, slaying Frost Giants left, right and centre, while creating thunder strikes with her trusty Hammer, is distracted by a woman in rubber soled shoes. She appeared out of nowhere, the woman smiles and skips towards Sif. The Lady is worried about this strange mortal, who seems oblivious to it all. The Lady takes out every Frost Giant, who decide to attack this defenceless prey. The woman finally reaches Sif, her smile extends as she tiptoes to whisper into Sif’s ear. The Lady is intrigued, so she bends to hear the mortal’s words, “I own nothing.”

Lady Sif Odindóttir - daughter of Odin and Frigga, crown princess of Asgard, sister of Loki – has just returned from a great battle to attend her own coronation as the Queen and Ruler of Asgard. As she arrives through the Bifrost on horseback, she rides triumphantly on the rainbow bridge to her coronation. She recalls a time from her youth.

* * *

King Odin is in his weapons vault, with his 2 children – Sif & Loki, he tells them about their grandfather, his father, the mighty Thor, God of Thunder, the last holder of Mjolnir. Little Sif wants to be like her grandfather – King of Asgard, slayer of creatures that invaded the other realms and dying in glorious battle.

“I want to be just like grandfather” she pipes. “King of Asgard, killing monsters and dying in glory!” she continues.

Odin smiles at his little daughter, “Being King is more than fighting, little one. It is more than battles and wars my dear. You have to make choices, choose wisely, make sacrifices, compromise and understand politics.”

“Yes little sister, it’s not just about fighting” Little Loki quips.

“Yes **little** brother, I might be smaller than you, but I’m still **older** than you. You only say that because you are a terrible fighter, but a conning avoider” Sif smirks at her brother, while he frowns and pouts in return.

“Calm down children, one of you will be a great ruler, but I will always be proud of both of you” the King smiles at both his children.

They approach a strange box, emitting a faint blue glow, the King stops and turns to his children.

“This is why I brought you here today. This...” he points at the box, “...is the Casket of Ancient Winters, from the last Great War.”

“Many years ago, from a realm of cold and darkness, the Frost Giants of Jotunheim, invaded the mortal world, threatening to plunge the realm into a new ice age. Their leader Laufey intended to conquer the nine realms, so he started with the weakest.”

“During this era mankind accepted a simple truth – they were not alone in the universe. They believed some worlds were home to their gods. Others, to be feared – they feared the Frost Giants greatly.”

“We Asgardians, could not let mankind and rest of the realms suffer this tyranny. We did want we do best, we fought long and hard.”

“Our armies drove the Frost Giants back into the heart of their own world, but at great cost. In the end, Laufey fell and we took the source of their power” he points again at the box.

“Is this the Great War, where you lost your eye father?” Sif asks

“Yes, my child, but it is only a little loss, when compared to the many lives of great Asgardians and mortals, who lost theirs.” The children nod at their father, with understanding.

“We returned back to the realm eternal, Asgard, here we remain beacon of hope. Even though, mankind has forgotten about us, it was Asgard and its warriors, that brought peace to the universe.”

“Father, do the Frost Giants still live?” Loki asks.

“When I’m Queen, I’ll slay them all! Just as you did father.” Sif quickly retorts.

“Ah...little one remember it’s not only about war. A wise King, never seeks out war...but he’s always prepared for it.”

Odin walks away from the box, while his children share conspiratory smiles with each other, both run towards their father taking each hand. “We’re ready, father” they simultaneously respond.

Odin smiles at his children, “As you may recall, only one of you can rule, you are both born of royal blood – born to rule. As always, I will be proud of both of you, no matter who rules.”

* * *

 

 

The Lady Sif, soon to be Queen Sif, smiles. Remembering that day, she always knew she’d be Queen and weld Mjolnir, just like her grandfather, the mighty Thor did before her. She strokes the Hammer.

“Ah...I see you are having another moment with your precious, but you can’t be late for your own coronation.” Fandral quips.

“Fandral, I can be, I will be Queen after all” she laughs. “You three can go ahead and take your positions, I will be but a moment. I need to make a memorable entrance.” She smirks.

Fandral and the rest of the Warriors Three – Hogun and Volstagg – laugh, as they leave their friend to plan her grand entrance. Sif smiles at the Warriors Three and how they have always been at her side ever since they met at the first day of training.

* * *

 

She recalls how Volstagg stumbled into her, while trying to hide some food, after a rather tough sword throwing session, she helped him find a safe hiding place. An abandoned cannon. Unfortunately, months later, some mischievous trainee decided to test its functionality, he ended up with turkey enfused walls. The trainee was suspended.

How she saved Fandral the Dashing, from a scorned girl during a sword fighting session, who decided to end his dashing ways by not very pleasant ways. A few choice words from Sif, reminded her of a dignity and great potential at finding better suitors.

While, Hogun the Grim didn’t really need any saving, just a dose of humour. She found him sitting comfortably on a tree reading a book, during a stealth training session, they had been looking for him for about 6 hours. “No one ever looks up” was the response he gave when asked why he chose a tree.

* * *

 

 

Sif smiles again, as she makes her entrance into the auditorium in full armour, with a red cape and winged helmet and Mlojnir at her side. She back-flips into the auditorium, the crowd cheers. She throws Mlojnir, they cheers, she catches it, they cheer louder.

Sif walks gracefully down the aisle towards her father, Odin, who sits alone on the throne. She keeps hyping the crowd with her theatrics. Her mother, Frigga stands at her father’s side smiles and shakes her head at her daughter. Frigga knows her daughter’s intelligence, wisdom, beauty and strength make her the natural choice to learn, but worries about her stubbornness, which can be both gift and a burden in her future role as Ruler of Asgard.

Sif acknowledges her friends the Warriors Three, who are currently at their positions on the steps leading towards the throne, they all smile and sigh at her theatrics. While, her brother Loki looks on the other side of the steps.

Odin quietly observes and hopes he has chosen wisely, he too worries about Sif’s stubbornness, but he remembers her intelligence and wisdom and hopes those attributes will tame her.

Sif finally arrives at the steps and kneels before her father, she looks up to her mother, flashes a stunning grin and winks. Frigga, smiles, sighs and shakes her head at her daughter. Loki rolls his eyes. The Warriors Three smile and sigh at their old friend.

Odin observes quietly, stands up from his throne, taps his spectre on the ground once, and the whole auditorium falls silent. He begins the proceedings.

“Sif Odindóttir, my heir, my first born. So long entrusted with the mighty hammer Mjolnir, forged in the heart of a dying star. Its power has no equal, as a weapon to destroy or as a tool to build. ‘Tis a fit companion as a Queen.”

“I have defended Asgard and the lives of the innocent across the Nine Realms from the time of the great beginning, after the great reign of my father the mighty Thor. Now the day has come, I pass down this great responsibility to you, Sif Odindóttir.”

“Do you swear to guard the Nine Realms?”

“I swear.”

“Do you swear to preserve the peace?”

“I swear.”

“Do you swear to cast aside all selfish ambition and to pledge yourself only to the good of the Realms?”

“I swear!” still kneeling, Sif lifts up Mjolnir.

“Then on this, I Odin all-father, proclaim you...” Odin stops.

Sif looks at her father with worry and concern. _“Why has father stopped?”_ she thinks.

“Frost Giants.” Odin grimaces as he observes 3 Frost Giants in his weapons vault stealing the Casket of Ancient Winters. _“How dare these rebels attempt to steal the Casket during a scared day”_ he mentally chides. He summons the Destroyer, with a single tap of his spectre. It appears behind the Casket’s mantle and proceeds to destroy the Frost Giants without a moment’s hesitation, with three blasts of ethereal fire from its faceless helmet. The Destroyer returns to his resting place behind the mantle.

The coronation stops before Sif can be officially declared Queen. Odin and his children leave the proceedings, with Odin’s personal guards, to inspect the weapons vault. Odin and Loki quietly observe the aftermath of the botched robbery. Sif is filled with barely contained anger. _“Of all days, they choose my coronation to commit this heinous crime, they kill innocent warriors, they must pay!”_ she mentally chastises the dead Frost Giants. Odin picks up the Casket and places it back on its mantle.

“Father, the Jotuns must pay for what they’ve done!” she says aloud.

“Daughter, they have paid, with their lives. The Destroyer did its work, the Casket is safe and all is well.”

“All is well?” Sif questions. “They broke into the weapons vault! If they had stolen even one of these relics th-”

“They didn’t” Odin interrupts.

“Well, I want to know why!” Sif demands. Loki quietly observes his sister, he knows when to step back from her, this being such a time to do so. Loki waits for his father’s response.

Odin sighs “I have a truce with Laufey, King of the Jotuns.”

“He just broke your truce! They know you are vulnerable!” she angrily retorts.

Odin sighs again and faces his daughter “What action would you take?” Loki also looks at his sister.

“March into Jotuheim as you once did, and teach them a lesson.” she responds

She takes a breath “Break their spirits, so they’ll never dare to cross our borders again.” she continues.

“You’re thinking only as warrior. Remember daughter all those years ago, there is more to ruling than fighting wars.” he chastises

“This was an act of war!” she angrily retorts. Loki takes a precautionary step back, still quietly observing his stubborn sibling and his father.

“It was the act of but a few, doomed to fail.” Odin counters.

“Look how far they got!” she yells again. Sif worries her father is gone soft. Loki takes another step back, he raises a quizzical brow at his sister.

“We will find the breach in our defences and it will be sealed.” Odin diplomatically responds. Maybe his daughter’s wisdom will make see reason.

Unfortunately, she doesn’t, she boldly proclaims “As Queen of Asgard...”

“But you are not!” he angrily retorts. He sighs and looks at his daughter thoughtfully “Not yet.”

Odin leaves in quiet anger, Sif stays in barely contained anger, Loki quietly observes. The siblings don’t leave the vault, till their father leaves.

**++Lady Sif++**

The Warriors Three are waiting at the private banquet room, where Sif’s coronation was to be celebrated with close friends and family. Sif angrily walks into the room and proceeds to topple the large beautifully adorned and set buffet table over in anger. The Warriors Three worry about their friend, especially Volstagg, who also worries about the spilled food.

Loki, as always, quietly observant steps out from behind his sister and sits next to her.

“Brother, it is unwise to be in my company, right now” she warns.

“I know little sister.” he responds.

Sif snorts “You still call me little, even though I am **now** taller than you.” She releases a low laugh.

Loki looks on, as hoped, it makes her less angry, so he lets her blow off steam.

“This was to be my day of triumph, the beginning of a glorious era.” she concedes.

“It will come... In time.” he calmly reminds her. He sets his plan into motion.

“If it’s any consolation, I think you’re right about everything – the Frost Giants and Laufey. If they could find a way past our defences, who’s to say they won’t try again? Next time, with an army.”

“Exactly” she nods.

“We can’t do anything without defying Father.” Loki sighs.

Sif smirks at her brother and sports a glint in her eyes. She gets up with a plan set.

Loki sports a worried look “No, no, sister. I know that look.”

The Warriors Three, now face their friend, since she’s sufficiently calmer. Although, they worry about whatever Loki whispered in her ear. She might be calmer, but she now has “the look” that means she’s about to convince them to something that they might regret later, but will make an epic story to tell. They don’t call Loki, the God of Mischief for nothing...

“It’s the only way, Loki”

“No, Sif it’s madness.”

“What sort of madness?” Volstagg asks, while he’s polishing off a turkey leg, a chicken and half a goat. Hogun and Fandrel look on thoughtfully.

“We’re going to Jotunheim.” Sif calmly responds.

“What?!” Hogun and Volstagg respond.

“This isn’t like a journey to Earth, where you summon a little thunder and lightning and mortals worship you as a god. This is Jotunheim!” Fandral reminds her, always the voice of reason, whenever she loses hers.

“My father fought his way into it, defeated their armies and took their Casket. We will just be looking for answers.” She says.

“It is forbidden” Hogun reminds her.

Sif goes in for the kill, she chuckles and goes into a speech. Loki sighs and puts his face in his hands.

“My friends, have you forgotten all we have done? Fandral, Hogun, who lead you into the most glorious of battles?” she leans into Hogun, killer smile in place, she knows she’s got him. Hogun smiles, shakes his head a little and bows his head slightly “You did.” Fandral does the same.

She walks over to Volstagg, who’s now constructing his latest delicacy, an all the meats sandwich, _“Don’t forget the pickle, it counts towards your 5 a day”_ Volstagg reminds himself. “And Volstagg, to delicacies so succulent, you thought you’d died and gone to Valhalla?” she continues. Volstagg laughs “You did.”

“Well then my friends, we’re going to Jotunheim” she finishes.

**++Lady Sif++**

They ride their steads to Bifrost. Loki attempts to use his silver tongue on Heimdall and fails miserably before he can start. Heimdall accurately predicts their plan, thanks to their warm clothing. Since, the pretence is over, Sif takes a straight forward approach “Let us pass.”

“Never has an enemy slipped my watch until this day. I wish to know how that happened.” Heimdall responds.

Sif sees her opportunity “Then tell no one were we’ve gone...Understand?” she passes the guardian, the Warriors Three follow with Loki at the end.

As Volstagg passes Loki, he jokes “What happened? Has the silver tongue turned to lead?” The Three laugh, and as always, Loki quietly takes it in and observes.

Heimdall opens the Bifrost with his sword, as it positions itself, Heimdall warns “Be warned. I will honour my sworn oath to protect this realm as its Gatekeeper. If your return threatens the safety of Asgard, the Bifrost will remain closed to you. You’ll be left to die in the cold ruins of Jotunheim.”

“Couldn’t you just leave the bridge open for us?” Volstagg nonchalantly asks, while chewing on a piece of fried goat.

“To leave the bridge open would unleash the full power of the Bifrost and destroy Jotunheim with you upon it.” Heimdall responds

“So that’s a no then...” Volstagg quickly swallows his last piece of goat.

“I have no plans to die today” Sif calmly retorts, killer grin in place.

“None do.” Heimdall replies.

**++Lady Sif++**

They are transported to Jotunheim, with Sif leading the way. Hogun with his deadpan honestly “We shouldn’t be here.”

“You don’t say?” Fandral responds.

“I should have brought more goat.” Volstagg offers.

Sif smiles at her friends “Lets move.” And as always, Loki quietly takes it all in.

The five warriors arrive at the ruins of Laufey’s rather empty looking palace. Hogun questions “Where are they?”, “Hiding as cowards always do.” Sif responds. They continue walking until they hear a voice.

“You’ve come a long way to die, Asgardians.” Laufey says in a low treacherous growl.

“I am Sif Odindóttir”

“We know who you are.”

“How did your people get into Asgard.” she demands.

Laufey breathes in and out, “The House of Odin is full of traitors.” he retorts.

“Do not dishonour my father’s name with your lies!” she responds with boiling anger.

Loki takes a tentative step forward to his sister. The Three prepare themselves for the inevitable showdown, if Sif’s anger takes over.

Laufey stands up in anger “Your father is a murderer and a thief! Why did you come? To make peace?” he huffs.

Loki takes another step, _“This will end very badly, if I don’t stop it now, I have no intention of dying today.”_ he thinks. The Three are at full alert now, nothing will pass their defences.

“You long for battle. You crave it. You are nothing, but a little girl, trying to prove that she is a warrior.” he continues

More Frost Giants appear, Sif looks around and smirks “I see the cowards have come to play. Well this **little girl** has grown tired of your mockery” Sif ready for a showdown. Her words have irked the wrath of the Frost Giants as they arm themselves with frost spikes and maces that magically appear on their lower arms and hands.

Loki knows they’ve almost reached the point of no return, if this continues, death will surely fall. He steps to his sister and whispers “Sif, stop and think, use that great wisdom of yours, we’re outnumbered.”

“Brother, this not the time.” she counters.

“You know not what your actions will bring. I do... Go now, while I still allow it.” Laufey threatens.

Laufey moves from his throne and steps in front of Sif and Loki.

Loki tries to reason again by accepting “We will accept your most gracious offer.”

The siblings share a look, with her anger seeping away, Sif sees some reason _“Why start a war, when we have peace? Father was right. I will just walk away”_ she mentally concedes. She turns to walk away.

Laufey wanting to get the last punch in, changes a bad situation into the worst possible one by saying “Run home little baby, run back home to daddy.”

Loki sighs under his breath “Oh Odin, so much for no dying.” The Three all mutter “Oh Thor.”

Sif with her back still facing Laufey loosens her grip on Mjolnir, flashes a killer grin and in one elegant swoop uppercuts the leader, sending him crashing into his already ruined throne.

And with a blood thirsty grin, she smugly calls “Next?” A Frost Giant gladly volunteers, with another mighty swing, the volunteer’s gone. Another steps to the plate, she smashes a blow into its chest taking it out of the count.

“At least make it a challenge.” she smirks, Laufey gladly complies.

The Three hold their own, Fandral with his sword, Volstagg with his battle axe and Hogun with his spiked mace were dispatching their enemies left, right and centre. They held their formation, making sure nothing got in, but as the Frost Giants increase in number they were forced to lose their formation. Although, they are still able have each other’s back, as Hogun saves Fandral from certain death, with a well aimed spike.

Loki’s also holding his own, with a combination of magical projectiles and decoy trickery, he uses the projectiles to take out their weapons of frost. While, he uses his decoys to set traps, where the giants either throw themselves to their deaths or he stabs them from behind, while they are distracted by a decoy.

Sif was enjoying the battle, Mjolnir might have made her the Goddess of Thunder, but her love for battle, made her the Goddess of War. “Ares who?!” she laughs. The Frost Giant standing in front of her, head butts her, trying to shut her up.

She laughs again “That’s more like it” She throws Mjolnir into the Frost Giant’s face, it’s out for the count. Mjolnir comes back to her.

Volstagg is touched on the lower arm by a Frost Giant, which gives him a cold burn. He warns “Don’t let them touch you.” as it sends excruciating pain through his nerves. A few moments after, Loki is touched by a dying Frost Giant, the cold burns through his armour and reaches his lower arm, but he is unharmed and his skin turns blue instead. _“I am a monster!”_ he mentally curses, the Frost Giant’s surprised and wonders _“How is he one of us? Why fight us?”_ , Loki proceeds to finish it off, he stares at his arm as it turns back to its normal colour. “Maybe, that’s why he chose her?” he mutters.

Fandral is cornered by a Frost Giant, during the fracas, he loses his sword. With menacing glee, he lets out a battle cry, runs between the Frost Giant’s leg and retrieves his sword. He proceeds to chop down its arm and stabs it in the chest killing. He lets out celebratory battle cry. Unfortunately, another Frost Giant uses this as an opportunity to impale him with frost spikes from the icy ground. Loki saves him from his fate with a well aimed magical spike to the Frost Giant’s chest. Hogun and Volstagg remove Frandral from his icy hell.

Loki calls out to his sister “Sif, we must go!”, “Then go!” she replies. While using Mjolnir to take out 12 Frost Giants with a single throw. Laufey grows more frustrated on his ruined throne “I must release the Frost Behemoth before this baby makes a fool of me.” he mutters. With a sweep of his hand, a nearby Frost Statue of a giant quadruped, cracks into life. Volstagg picks up Frandral and yells “Run!”, while Loki and Hogun make a run for it. Loki yells for his sister again.

Sif, still lost in her love for battle, is taking all-comers spinning Mjolnir, while putting down every Frost Giant in her reach. With Mjolnir still spinning, she causes mini-cannons of frosted rocks into her adversaries.

The Frost Behemoth roars to attack, chasing after Loki and The Three. Fandral watches from Volstagg’s back, “If we make it from this I owe you a turkey dinner.” he informs Volstagg, “Make it 2 chickens, 3 ducks, 2 lambs and 4 goats” he retorts. “Seriously?! I’ll give you a farm then!” Fandral answers. Hogun laughs, while Loki shakes his head and wishes for death, if it’ll end this maddening conversation.

As the number of Frost Giants increases, Sif decides to bring Thunder and Lightning into the fight. With a smirk, she stops spinning Mjolnir, raises it in air and summons Thunder and Lightning, decimating most of the cold wasteland, that is Jotunheim’s throne and Jotunheim itself.

Loki and the Three keep running, as they feel the fragile land give way, Fandral sees the Frost Behemoth losing to simple gravity and lack of landmass. “I guess I owe you that farm, Volstagg” he laughs. The Three laugh, even Loki allows a chuckle as they reach their destination. “Heimdall, open the bridge!” Loki yells with a small sense of relief “This is almost over.” he mutters.

That happiness was short-lived, as the Frost Behemoth reappeared, unknown to Loki and The Three, gravity is not a problem when you can run upside down. The Frost Behemoth let out a mighty roar.

Sif finally out of her self-imposed trance, uses her Hammer to fly towards the Behemoth, “If the battle doesn’t come to Sif, Sif must go to the battle!” she laughs, while flying into the Frost Behemoth’s mouth, exiting through its neck, killing it. She lands majestically with maniacal grin. Till she finally realises the sheer numbers of Frost Giants waiting for them, with their leader Laufey, ready for all out war.

As the Frost Giants run towards their outnumbered prey, the Bifrost opens depositing Odin and his horse in blaze of glorious colours. Sif smugly delivers “Father! We’ll finish them together!”

“Silence.” Odin retorts.

Sif deflates, The Three are worried, Loki, as always, quietly observes.

Laufey makes a land ramp, so he can converse with Odin.

“All-Father, you look weary”

“Your girl started this.”

“You’re right, these were the actions of a girl, treat them as such. We can end this, here and now. No more bloodshed.”

“We are beyond diplomacy, All-Father. War and death, just like she wanted” Laufey turns to look at Sif and smiles. He turns back to Odin.

“Very well.” Odin replies defeated. Laufey makes a spike of ice and proceeds to stab Odin. Odin defends himself using the Bifrost and teleports himself and the Asgardians.

**++Lady Sif++**

As they arrive at Bifrost, Sif is angry and proceeds to have an argument with Odin

“Why did you back down? Why did you bring us back?”

“Child, do you realise, what you started?”

“I was protecting my home!”

“You couldn’t protect your friends! How can you protect the kingdom! Get him to the healing room! Now!”

The Three leave. For the first time, Sif notices the damage her friends have received. For a split second, she sees reason, but her stubbornness won’t let her act on it. As usual, Loki stays quietly observing.

“There won’t be a kingdom to protect, if you’re afraid to act. The Jotuns must learn – to fear me just as they once feared you.” she pushes.

“That’s pride and vanity talking, not leadership. You forgotten everything I taught you about a warrior’s patience.” he sighs.

“Father, while you patiently wait, the Nine Realms laugh at us! You grow weak, father! Giving speeches, while Asgard falls!” she delivers.

“You are a vain, greedy, little girl!” he screams

“And you’re an old man and a fool!” she screams back with venom-filled vengeance. As soon as those words leave her mouth, she knows she has crossed a line. Her stubbornness and anger have taken her to some dark places, but never this dark. _“What have I done?”_ she silently chastises herself.

As Odin hears these words, he knows of only one punishment, she has crossed the line too greatly.

“Yes, I was a fool. I thought you were ready.”

Loki steps in, to try to salvage the situation “Father...” but he is cut off by Odin “No!” he growls.

“My decision has been made” he sighs “Sif Odindóttir, you have betrayed the explicit command of your King, through your arrogance and stupidity, you have endangered these peaceful realms and innocent lives to the horrors and desolation of war!”

Odin places his spectre into the Bifrost’s lock.

“You are unworthy of these realms! Unworthy of your title! You are unworthy!” he strips off all the magical artefacts she has earned from her armour, strips off her cape. Sif stands and takes her punishment.

“You are unworthy of the loved ones, you betrayed! I now take from you your power!” Mjolnir, her precious steady companion, leaves her side.

“In the name of my father, and his father before!” The enchanted armour falls off her sleeves.

“I, Odin All-father, cast you out!” Odin uses Mjolnir to summon Thunder and Lightning, to cast Sif out, through the portal, the rest of her armour decimates, leaving her with only want she has underneath. Her leather boots, trousers and loose shirt.

She falls through portal. Odin whispers an oath to Mjolnir, “Whosoever holds this hammer, if they be worthy, shall possess the power of Sif.” He throws Mjolnir through the portal. Loki, quietly observes.

Sif lands in an unknown realm, before she has time to get her bearings, she is hit by some unknown contraption. She comes to, staring into the eyes of a pale beauty with full lips, she says “Where did she come from”. Sif passes out.

**++Lady Sif++**

About twenty minutes after, Sif has been taken away by Darcy, Erik and Jane, Mjolnir lands several miles away in the Puente Antiguo desert causing a large crater, while it lodges itself in the sand, waiting for its worthy welder.


	3. The Next Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Darcy is watching kitten videos on YouTube. “Sweet” she says as a kitten dressed in a suit rings a bell, “He thinks he’s a real person...Awesome!” she laughs. She receives a chat message from someone called The Woman.  
> The Woman: I have something important to tell you.  
> D<3Kittens: What? You see dead people?  
> The Woman: No.  
> D<3Kittens: You’re in the house? You’re going to kill me? The answer to life is not 42? Insert cliché horror/sci-fi trope...  
> The Woman: Nothing that drastic.  
> D<3Kittens: What then? So, I can finally live my life to the fully.  
> The Woman: I own nothing.  
> D<3Kittens: ____________________

Darcy, Erik and Jane arrive at the A&E of the County Hospital. They check in the strange woman. “Name?” the nurse at reception asks.

“Xena.” Darcy deadpans. The nurse gives Darcy a look. “What we were all thinking it?” They all looked at her and sighed.

“Okay, okay, she said it was Lady something...Sierra...Sangria...Sieve!” Darcy counters.

“She said Lady Sif. I believe, it’s spelt S-I-F.” Erik corrects.

“Relationship?” the nurse continues.

“Lets see, we’ve never met, until she...” Darcy points at Jane “...hit her with her vehicle.” The nurse stares at Jane.

“She tasered her, after she became conscious.” Jane defends.

“True, I feared for my life, you’d have done the same – she had crazy eyes. And he...” pointing at Erik, “...carried her into the vehicle.”

 

**+++Lady Sif+++**

Sif wakes up in a hospital ward. She takes in the ward from her bed.

“Where am I? What realm is this?”

She recalls the events of the previous night, after she was banished from Asgard. She groans “Will father ever forgive me?”

She notices a man at the entrance peeking through a window, in a white lab coat and glasses. He notices she’s awake and seems conscious. He enters the room.

“Good morning Miss...” Looks at the chart, “Sorry La-dy...Sif”, he smiles, “I’m Dr. Palmer. I see you’ve finally woken up. How do you feel?”

“I feel well rested.”

“Good. I just have a few questions. What is your full name?”

“Lady Sif Odindóttir.”

“Interesting, are you of Icelandic or Norwegian descent?” he asks _“That could explain her accent”_

“I am Asgardian. What realm is this?”

 _“Asgardian?! Eccentric rich lady or just plain crazy?”_ , “Err...Puente Antiguo County Hospital.”

She stares at him. “New Mexico...” he continues. She still looks lost, so he goes all in.

“United States of America, North America, Earth.”

It dawns on her, _“Yes, Earth - Midgard. He should know of father and the last Great War.”_

“I am Lady Sif Odindóttir, daughter of Odin Thorson, son of Thor Borson, son of Bor. The crown princess to the throne of Asgard.”

Dr. Palmer takes a step back, _“Oh boy, I think we’re leaving the eccentric train”_

“Your forefathers surely told you about my father, Odin, and the last Great War, where he led the Asgardian army into victory against the Frost Giants, when they invaded your realm.”

Dr. Palmer stares blankly... _“Oh crap, welcome to crazy town”_ Dr. Palmer suddenly notices the newly christened crazy woman, looks strong and very capable of knocking him out. Even though, she was hit by a vehicle and tasered the previous night, she has no visible bruises. He quickly lays out his plan - hit the panic button and run. _“Hey, I’m only human...”_

Confused, Sif continues “How they worshipped us as gods and their saviours?”

Sif notices the doctor’s uneasiness, as he slowly backs away towards the direction of a red button. She also notices a look - the same look that pale full-lipped woman had, just before she shot her with that contraption. Not wanting to relive that experience, she leaps out of bed and knocks out the doctor with a right hook, just before he can reach the button.

She carries him and places him on the bed. She carefully positions him under the covers. Quickly, she looks around the room for her clothes, and finds them in the small closet. Changes quickly and leaves the room.

She makes her way out of the hospital and just as she begins to contemplate how she will survive her new life as a mortal on Earth. She gets hit by a sudden impact, that knocks her down to the ground, as she struggles to stay conscious, she hears a strangely familiar voice “Nailed it!”

 

**+++Lady Sif+++**

Meanwhile at Jane’s office.

Jane is perplexed by last night’s event

“It wasn’t just an electric storm, was it?” Erik asks

“Look at the lensing around these edges...” she points at the image on her monitor “...it’s characteristic of an Einstein-Rosen Bridge.” she continues.

“A what?” Darcy asks. “Aren’t you a science major?” Erik asks Darcy. “Political science.” Darcy replies. Erik’s surprised. Jane responds “She was the only applicant.”

Erik turns to Darcy and begins to explain the concept of an Einstein-Rosen Bridge. Jane looks up from the monitor and notices Erik is so engrossed in his explanation, that he doesn’t notice Darcy is lost from said explanation.

“It’s a wormhole.” Jane deadpans. Darcy sighs in relief and mouths a silent thank you to Jane as she leaves the two scientists to their musings. Jane informs Erik about the presence of two different constellations on last night’s sky – ours and apparently some other world’s. While, Darcy looks at the pictures on the notice board, she notices a figure in one of the pictures.

Just to be sure that she’s not losing it, she calls Jane and Erik over to see the picture. They both confirm her observation – there is a human shaped figure in the infra-red picture of the vortex.

“Occam’s razor” Darcy says. Erik looks at her in surprise. “What? Political science major, remember?”

Jane smiles “I think I forgot something at the hospital.”

**+++Lady Sif+++**

Darcy, Erik and Jane arrive at Sif’s room. They notice something’s off, first of all, the figure underneath the covers is obviously blond. Then on closer inspection, they realise it’s a man. Jane checks his ID – Dr. Z. Palmer. Jane sighs, Erik checks his pulse, “Alive, just unconscious”.

Darcy looks around, “Xena, must have just left, if no one has noticed this yet. I think we should leave before they do.”

They casually leave the room, nod their goodbyes to the receptionist. Once outside, they run to the jeep. Jane at the wheel, Erik in the passenger, with Darcy at the back.

“I just lost my most important piece of evidence” Jane complains. “Typical” she sighs.

“What do we do?” Darcy asks. “Find her.” Jane answers.

“Are you sure? You saw what she did to that doctor? Is this really a good idea?” Erik asks

“Well, our data can’t tell us, what it’s like to be inside that event, but she can. We must find her.”

“Okay.” Darcy reloads her trusty taser. “Like I said previously, she couldn’t have gone far. Although, it is the County Hospital, and it’s never really busy. Maybe, they think the Doc’s having a Grey’s Anatomy moment in a supply closet.” Darcy wiggles her eyebrows, and begins to sing bow-chika-wow-wow.

Erik grimaces, while Jane lets out a chuckle. Jane reverses the jeep right into their query. “Not again...” she sighs.

They quickly disembark the vehicle and they see a barely conscious Sif. “Nailed it!” Darcy laughs as Sif passes out.

“I’m so sorry. Honestly, I’m not doing this on purpose” Jane apologises to the unconscious woman.

Darcy looks at Erik, “Sorry dude, you’ve got to carry her again.” Erik grumbles. “Hey, not my fault, you said next time I tasered someone, I should do it in the car, she...” she points at Jane “...hit her with the car.”

Erik sighs as he carries Sif and places her in the back of the jeep again. “I hope this will not be a regular occurrence.”

 

**+++Lady Sif+++**

At that exact moment, Mjolnir still sitting in its crater is discovered by a man named Chuck. Chuck knows he’s discovered something valuable. It might only be a sledge hammer, but something about it is special. “Hello Beauty, you’re gonna make me a rich fella!”

He grabbed the handle and pulled, “You’re stuck, aren’t ya? You just need a lil’ loving...” Chuck leaves the Hammer and retrieves a can of motor oil from his pick-up, squirts it around the Hammer. He tries again, it doesn’t budge.

He retrieves a chain from his pick-up, forms a crude pulley system, and pulls, it still doesn’t budge.

“Maybe, ya like that Disney cartoon, I saw as a young’n – Sword in a Stone...Nah...”

An idea pops into Chuck’s head “...whatever you are, ya still gonna make me rich” he smiles as he clears the area of his belongings and leaves.

“Time to get me some suckers!”


	4. Feeling a Moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Darcy’s listening to her favourite playlist on her iPod, with songs ranging from Ludacris to The Smiths, with a pitstop at Greg Edmonson. She sways to the music, making Vogue faces, just as she reaches the crescendo, a female voice silences her music “Do not adjust your set, this is a freedom broadcast.”  
> “You’ve gotta be kidding me?! Someone’s been watching Dark Angel, a bit too much.”  
> “No, I haven’t, I just needed to pass some important information.”  
> “Oh goodie, you can hear me” Darcy retorts as she sighs in frustration. “Dude, this better be important, I was about to bust some serious moves. Wait, how is this even possible?”  
> “I don’t have time to explain, just think of Person of Interest and Chuck, you’ll find an answer there.” the voice responds.  
> “Okay, Yoda, whatcha got?”  
> “I don’t-” Darcy interrupts the voice, “Oh, it’s you! Oh no you don’t, I’m going to say it this time. I own nothing!” Darcy smirks.  
> “Not fair, that’s all I get to do!” the voice whines.  
> “Suck it!” Darcy fist pumps.

Sif wakes up to the sound of humming. She notices she is in another room, less sterile than her previous one, in a bed more comfortable, considerably larger and more personal than her previous one. She also notices a faint sweet scent that is intoxicatingly inviting. She enjoys this scent, she wonders who/what it might belong to, then she remembers the humming, Sif sits up and sees its source.

Darcy is listening to her iPod, while playing Solitaire on her laptop, she’s supposed to be doing data entry work, and keeping an eye on Warrior Princess, but that can wait. She stops playing Solitaire as she becomes engrossed in the song’s chorus and starts to sing softly “How do you feel there's no sun? And how will you be when rain clouds come and pull you down again? How will you feel when there's no one? Am I just like you?”

Sif watches in awe, as the woman who previously shot her, continues to sing, she goes into the second verse, with so much emotion that by the time she reaches its chorus, she gets up with her eyes closed. Unintentionally, giving Sif a performance, she will never forget.

Darcy finishes the song – the last on her playlist, takes off her earphones and tucks it in her shirt. she opens her eyes, and sees Sif staring at her, with a shy smile she blurts out “That was beautiful.”

“Thanks” Darcy timidly replies, and the two share a moment. Darcy notices Sif’s eyes for the first time, at first glance, they appear brown, but on closer inspection, she discovers they are hazel. Sif stares at the pale brown eyed beauty before her. She misses the soulful voice she heard only moments ago, she wishes to hear it again. They continue their quiet inspection of each other.

The moment’s broken, as they both remember why and how they got there. Sif becomes defensive “You attacked me...unprovoked.”

“You came out of nowhere. Going on about being hammered. Then you went all crazy eyes and... I still have my taser gun.” Darcy replies. She quickly grabs it, from the table behind her. Sif contemplates knocking out Darcy, but after their shared moment she goes with a different approach “Calm down, Lady...” she pauses. “Darcy. My name is Darcy Lewis.” Darcy provides.

“I apologise Lady Darcy, for the shocking nature of my arrival. I truly mean you know harm.”

“What about the Doctor?” Sif is confused. “The man at the hospital.” Darcy continues.

Sif sighs “Well...” Sif fidgets, she mentally chides herself _“Oh Thor. I am behaving like a child, about to be scolded by their father.”_

“...he had the same expression you had, when you shot me with that...” she points at Darcy’s taser gun “...contraption. It is an experience I would never wish to relive. So please my Lady, lower your weapon.”

Darcy thinks for a moment, _“Ok, Xena has a point and I think Jane would like her conscious”_ , she lowers her weapon. “Enough with the Lady business, just call me Darcy.”

Sif stands up from the bed and walks towards Darcy, she notices a change in Darcy’s disposition, she gives her a reassuring smile. Darcy relaxes. Sif stops right in front of her. “Thank you... Darcy.”

_“OMG, she’s even more beautiful up close and really tall. Our vast height difference intrigues me. And when did I start saying OMG?”_

“You’re welcome.” She nervously giggles as she stares at Sif’s eyes, “The most beautiful hazel eyes, I’ve ever seen” she gasps.

“Thank you Darcy. You possess a beautiful voice.” Sif smiles.

Darcy blushes furiously, she can’t believe she said that out loud. “Thank you Xena.” Sif looks puzzled, “My bad. Thank you Sif” she corrects herself. They continue staring.

Jane opens the door to Darcy’s room, she observes the situation. “This could get interesting...” she chuckles, “I’m sorry, but I have to break up your moment.”

Darcy steps away from Sif, while Sif holds her ground. “Greetings, Lady...”

“Jane Foster, but please just call me Jane. We were about to get some dinner, it’s a tie between Chinese and Pizza. Darcy...”

“Chinese. Xena here, looks like she could murder some Sweet & Sour Pork, with the House Special Fried Rice, and Honey glazed Pork Ribs.” Darcy notices Sif’s puzzled look “I’ll explain later.”

Jane raises an eyebrow and smiles “Lady Sif, after your eventful arrival, I think you will enjoy a shower, Darcy will show where it is, while we will try to round up some clothes for you. And I’m sorry about hitting you with my car...twice.”

“Apology accepted. Thank you Jane, I do need sustenance. I will refresh myself. And you can call me Sif.”

“Thank you Sif... Oh and Darcy behave.” Jane leaves and closes the door.

Darcy turns around to face Sif, she stands in shock at the event unfolding in front of her.

Sif is undressing, right there in front of Darcy. Darcy gulps and stares at Sif, who is now only in her leather trousers and what she can only describe as a leather sports bra. As Sif is about to take off her trousers, Darcy clears her throat to get her attention.

“Yes Darcy?”

“Won’t you like a towel or...something to cover something?”

Sif continues taking off her trousers “I will need to dry myself after, so yes.”

Darcy stares at the woman in front of her, she subconsciously licks her lips, _“Xena has nothing on her...legs for days, thighs that would crush walnuts, wash board abs, that actually understand their definition...Whoa is she about to take off her...”_

“STOP!” Darcy yells. Sif stops, “You can do that in the bathroom!”

“My apologises, Darcy, it was never my intention to make you uncomfortable.” Sif notices Darcy’s laboured breath and shocked, “I’m truly sorry.”

“It’s OK, you could have warned me.” Darcy takes her into the en-suite bathroom and explains how to use it. “Anywho, Sif, I’ll leave you to it, while I help Jane find some clothes.”

Darcy leaves the bathroom and her room. She leans on the closed door, takes a few calming breaths and fans herself. “Wow, that was something...”

Jane sees Darcy, “Darcy... did you behave?” Jane asks tentatively.

“I did, you should have told that to Lady-undresses-in-front-of-people. Damn those abs and legs... I need water, electrolytes, something. I think my brain needs a reboot.”

Jane laughs “Come on, lets get you some water, then look for more clothes. Chinese will be here in 30 minutes.”

 

**++Lady Sif++**

Within 20 minutes, they were able to rustle up some clothes, Erik was able to provide a suitable belt and few t-shirts, Jane found shorts and trousers from her ex-boyfriend’s box of left-overs. While, Darcy provided a few tank tops and a mini-skirt.

Erik and Jane give Darcy questioning looks. “What?! You need to see her legs and arms, they would look great in these.” Darcy defends. Erik sighs, while Jane laughs “If you say so Darcy, why don’t you take these to her? And remember no funny business.”

“Tell that to Xena, the Alien Warrior Princess.” Darcy takes the clothes and tentatively enters her room, Sif is still in the bathroom. As she lays out the assorted clothes on her bed, she fails to notice Sif leaving the bathroom. The centuries of training and fighting have not only made Sif an effective fighter, but also a very stealthy one. Sif stands behind Darcy, making sure to keep at least an arm’s length distance between them. Just as she is about to get Darcy’s attention, Darcy turns around and collides into her.

“Whoa! Seriously, warn me already!” Darcy yelps. “Maybe I should give you a bell?”

“I’m truly sorry Darcy, it was not my intention to scare you. I was about to inform you of my presence, but...” Sif trails off as she notices just how intimate their embrace is.

“Err...no problem...I was just going to get the underwear I bought from the store across the street...Umm...from our previous... err...umm... I was able to guess your size.” Darcy blushes.

“Thank you Darcy. Could you please let go of me?”

“Sorry” Darcy apologises and takes her hands off Sif’s damp arms. She can’t believe she’d been clinging onto Sif, who was only dressed in a towel, with her wet hair trailing down her back.

Darcy reaches behind Sif and grabs a pack of sport bras and briefs, and hands them over to Sif. Sif thanks her, Darcy nods and leaves the room.

“That woman is going to be the death of me.” Darcy gasps as she leans on the closed doors.

**++Lady Sif++**

It takes Sif a few minutes to get dressed, as she opens the door Darcy falls into her arms. “Erm...I was just about to...dinner’s ready...I mean I was just about to open the door...erm and the door opened...err... to tell you that dinner’s ready.” Darcy flusters, _“Smooth Darcy, real smooth.”_

“Thank you, Darcy.”

“Err...no problem, and thank you...for catching me” Darcy blushes, she removes herself from Sif’s grasp, then scans Sif from head to toe, Sif is wearing a pair of jeans and a shirt.“You didn’t wear the skirt or the tank top. Why?” Darcy sighs.

“I am a warrior, why would I leave my legs exposed during battle?” Sif asks.

“But this isn’t battle, it’s New Mexico. C’mon, it’s only a skirt and you’ve got killer legs.” Darcy retorts.

“It provides no advantage in battle. I believe dinner is ready.” Sif smiles as she leaves.

“Spoilsport” Darcy sighs and closes the door.


	5. Dinner is Served

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Erik had a long day at the University’s seminar, “Apparently, if you have tenure, you don’t get fed at seminars!” he grumbles as his belly rumbles. He eagerly waits for the doorbell to ring. After 15 minutes it does, Erik runs to the door with adorable glee. He opens the door and sighs “Yes?”   
> “Don’t worry, I’m not here to sell you anything, just here to give you an important message.” the Woman says. Erik nods, she continues “it will change your life, it wil-”  
> “Get to the point!”  
> “I own nothing.”  
> Erik slams the door.

“So Sif, tell us something interesting about yourself” Jane supplies, as she tries to get Sif into the conversation. Sif, who has been happily enjoying her dinner, replies “I am the Lady Sif, born a goddess and forged a warrior.  I was baptized in the tears of mine enemies, and their children’s children fear my name… I am rock and wheat and fire and ash, and in my All-Father, Odin, I am promised to the sky.”

Jane, Erik and Darcy stare at their strange guest. _“This strange woman scares me, I fear Jane and Darcy have taken a liking to her – one for her perceived advancement in science, the other for less evolved reasons.”_ Erik mentally states as he worries for Sif’s sanity. “Err...I believe, she meant...umm...something like you ran a marathon or you dyed your hair pink when you were 15. You know something less...err... god-like.” Darcy states.

Sif ponders quietly for a moment “I was born with golden locks, until my brother hindered their progress.” Darcy replies “OK, so please do tell how he hindered their progress... _I really want to be that pork rib right now_ ” the latter sentence she mentally adds, while she subtly licks her lips.

“My brother, Loki, played a trick on me in my youth. He was envious of my natural prowess in battle training. He decided to cut off **all** my locks while I slumbered. As I was still young and vain, I mourned its loss with great fanfare. Loki fearing punishment, seeked assistance from the Trolls, to regain what I had lost.”

“Trolls?!” Sif’s audience ask in unison in wide eyed wonder. “Yes, Trolls from the Kingdom of Trolls.” Sif replies.

“He struck a bargain with them to forge hair made out of gold to appease my vanity. Unfortunately, Loki reneged on his side of the bargain and stole it. The Trolls aware of my brother’s mischievous reputation, planned ahead. So, when the piece was placed upon my head, the locks grew – at first gold, but in mere moments became the colour of night. After my initial outburst, a stern reminder from All-Father and a compassionate word from All-Mother, I embraced it. I have been informed I look better with it, apparently it accentuates my eyes.” Sif flashes a smile at Darcy, who blushes in return.

“No shit! Err...Um...sorry, I thought this was going to be an Elvis-like story of genetics running its final course.” Darcy tries to explain as she tries to hold Sif’s gaze. She fails and her mind wonders “ _Oh frak, that smile, those eyes, that body. I would commit first degree murder, if it’d make me that goddamn rib!_ ” As Darcy’s brain short circuits on the mental images, she misses Sif’s question.

Jane throws a balled up napkin at Darcy, her aim is true, as it lands on Darcy’s nose. “I’m armed and I will taser the shit outta you!” Darcy blurts. “Sif was asking you a question” Jane supplies, while Erik laughs unashamedly and silently worries “ _This woman worries me, she really believes her delusions and why does her story sound familiar? Reminds me of a story my grandmother told me. Note to self – check the library on Norse Mythology_.”

“Could you please sing for us?” Sif asks politely, as she flashes Darcy another smile. Darcy is intrigued by this smile, that she almost misses the repeated question. She shakes her head out of the beginnings of her new daydream. “Sorry, I think I misheard you. Did you say sing?”

“Yes, you truly have an exquisite singing voice.” Sif innocently replies. “No. I don’t sing for people.” Darcy retorts. “Well, you sang for me...”

Jane and Erik are now watching Darcy intently, waiting for her reply. If they were not mature adults, they would have been keeping score of this rally, which Sif was winning.

“No, I didn’t. I thought she was still unconscious.” Darcy replies to Jane and Erik, she intentionally avoids Sif’s gaze and smirk. Jane and Erik currently have matching loop sided grins. Darcy turns to Sif “Tell them!”

Sif smirks at Darcy and decides to play with her a little, Sif can’t help herself – the look on Darcy’s face “Her serenades could rival those of Eros. Her range could shame those of the muses. And any warrior would be willing to follow her instead of ascending to Valhalla!” Sif smirks as she rises from the table. “Thank you for the generous dinner” Sif smiles at her hosts. “Thank you for the recommendation and I hope to hear your exquisite voice again soon. Since you only sing for me.” she smirks at Darcy as she leaves the dining area.

Jane and Erik laugh, as Darcy’s crimson streaked face is slowly changing from embarrassment to anger. “Looks like the Lady Sif is in trouble, forged warrior or not, she should fear wrath – for her name is Darcy” Jane chuckles.

 

**++Lady Sif++**

“I am Darcy Lewis, goddammit! Panty and boxer dropper, since forever. I **WILL NOT** be owned by a freaking alien warrior princess!” she paces for a few minutes, making up her mind, she proceeds with her plan.

Darcy barges into her bedroom with one purpose only – to knock Sif’s smirk off her smarmy alien face. She sees her prey, coming out of the en-suite bathroom, she gives a predatory smirk and launches at her prey.

Sif can only hold on, as Darcy leaps onto her wrapping her legs around her waist. Darcy pulls her into a searing and heart stopping kiss, all Sif can do is respond to it, while holding onto to Darcy like her life depended on her satisfaction. They continue in this game of satisfaction, the only sounds that can be heard are their moans and their lips. Sif pins Darcy’s back to the wall and proceeds to ravage her neck, Darcy becomes impatient and pulls Sif back to her lips. The need for Oxygen becomes too great, the kiss ends. They stay in their position breathless, staring into each other’s eyes. Darcy recovers quickly, remembering what she came to do in the first place.

“I am a Lioness, you’re a Gazelle and this was freaking Animal Planet. You just got owned.” Darcy smirks at Sif’s shocked expression as she unwraps her legs from Sif’s waist and pushes away. She walks out of her bedroom, she spares Sif a quick glance as she closes the door, with Sif still rooted at the spot breathing heavily, she lets out a seductive chuckle, “Yup. Still got it.”


	6. Mjolnir’s Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The Woman walks up to Chuck “Can I have a go?” she smiles cracking her knuckles. Chuck roars with laughter “If ya think ya can! Tell ya what, if ya can move it an inch... ”. The woman smiles as she bends over and picks up Mjolnir with a single hand, she turns to Chuck with Mjolnir now casually slung over her shoulder and smirks “I will claim my prize...later.” She turns to leave, almost forgetting why she came, she abruptly stops and faces Chuck again, hearing his very audible gulp, she smirks “I own nothing.”

Mjolnir’s former welder might have been getting lessons in the Midgardian art of Animal Planet, but Mjolnir’s day was very different. Its first day on Midgard in over 3 millennia stuck in a crater in a pedestal of its own making, a subject to unworthy vile creatures trying to own it. It waits for a worthy welder, it waits because All-Father commanded it, it hears Odin’s whisper as a mantra, so it continues to wait.

Chuck is oblivious to his meal ticket’s plight, pats himself for a job well done. He chuckles at how quickly he was able to gather his sheep to his prized goose. All he did was call a few friends, gather a few supplies and in the space of 2 hours was able to make it into a profitable barbeque. _“So easy and I didn’t have to spend a dime! Suckers_ ” Chuck muses to himself as he laughs at some poor fella, who thinks he can pull his golden goose from its perch.

“Triple or nothing!” the fella yells, “Ya call” Chuck shrugs. The fella stretches, several cracks can be heard, he loosens his body takes in 3 purposeful breaths. “This is it” the fella mutters as he grips the Hammer’s handle, he loosens his grip once, then grips again and pulls with all his might. He feels movement, he smiles until he notices that its his sweaty palms that are giving way, not the Hammer. He sighs and walks up Chuck and hands over his due. Chuck smiles “Ya could be lucky...” counting his new bills “...next time.”

Chuck’s day has been very profitable, filled with gun ho, cock sure fellas – old and young. Thinking they would be next owner of his golden goose, staking their money, their homes and their lives to own his new trinket. Chuck might be a bastard, but he had his limits and set out reasonable limits – their money, food and of course electronics, no one can say no to a 50 inch plasma...

Just as he is about to pick a cold can of free beer from the cooler next to his camp chair, Chuck hears the sound of Old Man Stan’s pickup. “Tha old kook actually did it” he mutters as he watches as men wrap the end of the pickup’s chain round the Hammer. He watches and hears the throttle stamped on full blast, all the men around expect the Hammer to move, but Chuck knows better, so he leans back in his camp chair, enjoys his beer and waits for the inevitable.

Old Man Stan feels some movement - a release in pressure, then hears their collective gasp, he thinks he has won the Hammer. He stops his vehicle, moves his head out of the driver’s window and asks “Did it work?” he expects congratulations, but instead hears their laughter and sees the damage. He walks to up to Chuck, who smiles at him smugly “Told ya.” Old Man Stan sighs, pays him “Hey, I had to try” he says as he sheepishly works away.

Unknown to all, a black Crown Victoria arrives and parks at a distance. The driver, dressed in standard government issue spook complete with soul search denying shades, gets out and observes the event as it unfolds, he raises his mobile to his ear “Sir, we found it.”

The driver observes the crater and spots Chuck, “I will let him have his fun, and it’s only fair since he found it first...but, finders are not keepers” the driver laughs at his own joke. Chuck feels eyes on him, he spots the lone figure in the distance, he can’t make out much, but he gets a funny feeling in his bones. The driver waves at him and the feeling turns into something else...


	7. Dinner Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: **Knocks** Darcy answers the door, she looks at The Woman at the other end, “Dude, I ain’t buying whatever you’re selling.” she slams the door. The Woman knocks again, Darcy opens the door again. “But it’s really important” The Woman counters, “Whatever dude, if you knock one more time...” Darcy leaves her threat uncompleted as she closes the door.  
> The Woman calls her bluff and knocks once more, Darcy opens the door, but this time she’s armed with her trusty taser gun, she proceeds to taser her with manic glee “WarriorShock Bitches!” she yells as she closes the door. The Woman in excruciating pain mumbles “I...own...nothing.”

“Greetings Jane, Erik...” Sif nods at Jane and Erik, they respond in kind. “and...” Sif looks around the living room for Darcy. Darcy appears at the doorway and smirks at Sif. “Greetings Darcy” Sif successfully hides her blush, those centuries of training and battle coming into use. “Hello you” Darcy drawls, while she observes Sif with barely hidden lust. “Nice to see the guns are out to play. You’re pretty cut for a homeless alien.” Darcy winks and grabs her phone “Hey Xena, smile for the camera.”

Sif quietly berates herself for not wearing the collared shirt she was given, she was still in the state of dress, when Darcy appeared, so she was still in just the tank top and jeans. Sif was not going to give Darcy the benefit of catching her off guard again after last night’s “Animal Planet” lesson. If this young Midgardian thought she’d got the better of her, she hadn’t seen anything yet.

Sif proceeds to drop her shirt as nonchalantly as possible, she sits down on the chair opposite Darcy, pulls out her best killer smile – the one she uses to get The Warriors Three to do her bidding. She watches as Darcy sharply takes in her breath and fumbles with the camera, after a few precious seconds Darcy finally takes the picture. She looks at the picture, _“Wow, she’s all kinds of hot, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to tease her, th-... Wait, what’s she doing now?!”_

Sif gets up, walks around the table and stands in front of Darcy, she takes her all in, she leans into Darcy. Darcy gasps and closes her eyes, while Sif continues her journey, but instead of stopping at her lips – which Darcy was suddenly craving instead of Oxygen – Sif stops at her ear and whispers seductively “I need sustenance.”

Sif pulls away with a smirk, she watches Darcy go through stages from barely contained want to not-so contained frustration as her brain finally connects the dots. _“Yup, I should never tease Xena, Alien warrior Princess, she doesn’t play fair.”_

Darcy adjusts herself before turning to Jane and Erik, “Xena needs to get fed.”

 

**++Lady Sif++**

“Fair maiden, could I please have another of this excellent beverage?” Sif smiles at the waitress, she blushes “You can have anything you want.” The waitress quickly scribbles her name – Sandy – and her number on a napkin, she comes*over their table – a bit too eager. She leans over Sif as she pours coffee into her cup, she subtly – as a cat on a hot tin roof - slips her number onto Sif’s hand. Sif smiles as she looks at Darcy, who is sitting opposite her. Darcy tries to look nonchalant, but due to Sif’s winning play in their previous tête à tête, she is still frustrated and maybe just a little bit jealous. Sif observing her uneasiness, walks up to the waitress, who is now at her station, they exchange a few words, she kisses her hand and walks back to the table.

Darcy is intrigued, “What did you guys just talk about?” she asks curiously. “I informed her that...what were your words, during that delightful Animal Planet lesson?” Sif leans forward, her tall frame easily letting her meet Darcy on the other side of the table. “By All-Father, I remember... I told her I was **owned**.” on the last word Sif’s voice drops into a husky whisper, she winks and Darcy blushes.

Jane and Erik feel like the proverbial third wheel on a very awkward date, since they are being ignored by the other two occupants, while all four are sharing the same table. _“She might be an alien or a very well-trained homeless individual, but it looks like Darcy has met her match.”_ Jane wonders. _“This is just a crazy homeless woman, who knows a lot of Norse mythology. She might have been found in the middle of an intergalactic phenomenon, that doesn’t make her an alien.”_ Erik mentally concludes.

 

**++Lady Sif++**

Chuck enters the diner, he is pissed off – his golden goose has been taken away from him. He only had it for a day, but it was the best day’s work, he had ever had and the goddamn government took it away from him! “Space debris, my goddamn ass! I know a Hammer when I see one. Ra-dio-ac-tive! Freakin’ pencil pushers want it for ya-selves!”

“Hi Sandy, could ya give me ma usual please, extra hot.” Chuck smiles at Sandy. “No problem Chuck” Sandy responds. Sif walks up to Chuck “My good man, which way?” she asks. “Fifty miles away west from here, but it looked like the whole damn Army camped there.” Chuck responds. As Sif walks away, Sandy calls to her attention “Hey, whenever you’re not...” Sandy looks at Darcy, then back at Sif “...taken. My shift ends at 6pm on weekdays and I’m free on weekends.” she winks at Sif. Sif smiles and thanks her, while pulling a bow Fandral would have been proud of. Sandy blushes, Darcy pouts _“Damn you Xena!”_ Sif approaches Darcy, Jane and Erik, “I apologise, I must depart and reclaim Mjolnir. Thank you for your hospitality.” Sif leaves the diner, the others follow her.

Sif walks into traffic determined, her centuries of existence not helping her to understand the simple Midgardian rules of road safety and pavements. “Meow Meow... What’s a Meow Meow?” Darcy asks, while she admires Sif’s determined gait as she tries to catch up with her.

 _“You’ve got to be kidding me, she really believes she’s the goddess of thunder and War, this madness must be stopped!”_ Erik shakes his head. “This could be the scientific discovery of the century!” Jane exclaims, barely containing her glee. Erik takes Jane aside and tries to deter her excitement.

Darcy catches up to Sif, “Where are you going?” she asks. “Fifty miles west, to reclaim what is mine.”

“I don’t think the spooks will let you just take it...” Darcy tries to reason with her.

“I can and I will” Sif replies smugly, she believes her father has forgiven her, she believes All-Father has seen reason, forgetting her new found reason, her pride is renewed – she will leave this planet. She looks away from Darcy, before she gets distracted by her and looks at Jane, killer smile in place and says “If you take me there now, I will tell you all that you wish to know.” Jane is about to lose her resolve “Really?” she asks hopefully. “Yes, all the answers you seek will be yours, once I reclaim Mjolnir.”

“Again, what’s a Meow Meow? And if you’re high, I want some of whatever you’re smoking.” Darcy states hating the fact that Sif has blatantly ignored her. Erik takes Jane aside again, Darcy follows.

“Please don’t do this” Erik pleads, “You saw what I saw last night, this no coincidence” Jane retorts, while Darcy sneaks a glance at Sif. “I am not talking about the crater Jane” Erik sighs, “I am talking about her...she’s delusional talking about Mjolnir, she really thinks she’s a goddess. These are the stories I grew up hearing as a child from my grandmother.” Jane begins to see some reason, but decides that science needs this “I am just going to drive her... that’s it.”

“She’s dangerous, remember what she did to the doctor?” Erik hammers the final nail, Jane sighs in defeat. Darcy tries to defend Sif, but Erik turns to her “Don’t even think about it, we all know what you want.” Darcy backs down, barely hiding her blush.

Jane walks up to Sif, “I am sorry, I can’t take you” Jane sighs to Sif. “This is where we say goodbye” Sif replies, “Goodbye Dr. Jane Foster.” she says as she shakes Jane’s hand. She walks up to Erik “Goodbye Dr. Erik Salvig” and also shakes his hand. Then she faces Darcy “Goodbye...” she kisses Darcy’s hand “...Darcy Lewis”. Darcy replies with a shy thank you and she giggles when Sif whispers in her ears “We will finish our lesson, later...I promise.” Sif stands up and then bids them all farewell with a curt bow.

Darcy responds with a bemused, but cute curtsey, Jane responds with a smile and Erik responds with an awkward bow, Erik gathers his colleagues before they can change their minds and they leave. Sif, now fully determined, walks on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *So, that happened and I just thought I'd make it awkward by pointing it out, so we could all move on...
> 
> Just reposting this here on AO3, to kinda force my hand to finish it, I've written the Disclaimer for the next chapter and literally four words for the actual chapter...so there's hope. Oh and if you're desperate to read my original A/Ns, they are still on FFN.


	8. Off to See a Man about a Hammer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Sif struts with purpose towards her quarry, she will be the goddess of thunder and war again. As she steps closer to her goal, she notices a being in rubber soles hindering her way to her prize. "Be gone mortal, you do not understand the wonders of the divine" she gloats as she attempts to scare off this female mortal. The Woman picks up Mjolnir with ease and smirks at Sif "I may not understand, but I do know one thing..." The Woman leans in and whispers to Sif "I own nothing"

Darcy, Erik and Jane are walking back to their abode. Unbeknown to each other, they all have the same person on their minds...

Erik is grateful they have finally gotten rid of the delusional woman, Jane feels she has lost the potential scientific discovery of the century, while poor Darcy is lost in a haze of missed Animal Planet lessons, while wondering how she's still able to function.

All three are broken from their musings by Jane's yelp, after she dodges a particularly impatient driver, a driver who seems to be have strangely familiar cargo in the back of their pickup.

"Hey! That's my stuff!" Jane yells after the would be thief. All three stand in awe, amazed by the sheer gull of this thief. Then they all turn to face an even more irregular occurrence: men dressed in black suits raiding their abode, with a calming impunity that can only be described as a result of bureaucracy.

They run into the building, Jane demands to know what is going on and Erik is apprehensive, since he knows of this kind of bureaucracy. Darcy is simply lost by all this. Introductions are made by the lead agent, Agent Phil Coulson of SHIELD. Jane is still outraged, even when they are told of a potential security threat. Jane remains outraged when she is informed that their records will be "appropriated."

Erik tries to warn her against acting on her justified anger, but Jane continues even after she's been handed a substantial amount of money via a cheque. She tosses the cheque aside and continues in her justified agitated state.

"I can't just buy these at Radio Shack, I made most of these equipment a myself."

"I'm sure you can do it again." Agent Coulson calmly responds.

"And I am sure I can sue you for violating my constitutional rights!" Jane serves him a look that can only be described as murderous.

"I'm sorry Miss Foster, but we're the good guys." Agent Coulson responds again with his calming demeanour that nearly sends Jane into a murderous rage.

Fortunately, she is able to dial it down to frustration, "so are we" she sighs. She tries to use reason.

"I'm on the verge of understanding something extraordinary, and everything I know about this phenomenon is either in this lab or in this book..." During Jane's impassioned speech, she fails to notice Agent Coulson nodding at the book and what happens next shocks all three civilians.

"...and you can't just take this awa-" an unseen agent takes said book from Jane's hand. The murderous rage is back and she attempts to wrestle the agent for her book. Erik reacts quickly, stopping Jane from making a mistake she will regret, even if she is justified to make it. Erik let's go of Jane, but Darcy holds onto her - just in case.

"Thank you for your cooperation." Agent Coulson calmly responds, while they drive of with all their equipment and research. Jane is distraught, while Darcy and Erik try to calm her.

**++Lady Sif++**

All three are now sitting on the roof of their barren laboratory. Jane appears lost, all her years of research gone. Erik is deep in thought and appears to share Jane's concerns, while Darcy talks about the only thing that matters to her.

"They even took my iPod." Darcy sighs at the injustice of it all.

"What about the backups?" Erik hopefully inquires.

"They took the backups, they took the backups of our backups...They were extremely thorough." Jane states frustrated by this.

Erik visibly slums in response.

"I just downloaded like 30 songs on ther--" Darcy continues.

"Could you please stop with the iPod." Jane snaps, while both she and Erik look at Darcy like she has acquired two sets of heads. Darcy takes this as a cue to comply to Jane's wish.

"Who are these people?" Jane is still frustrated by the gull of said people. Erik proceeds to explain all he knows about SHIELD. How a colleague of his - a pioneer if gamma radiation - was taken by SHIELD after he suffered a radiation accident and was never heard from again. Jane remains indignant, she will get research, she will not be silenced. Erik calms her, by promising to get in touch with another colleague, who could help them through this predicament.

"They took your laptop too." Darcy gently reminds him, in response they all sigh in acceptable frustration.

**++Lady Sif++**

Darcy catches Jane attempting to sneak away in the jeep. She is impressed by Jane's tenacity, but she reminds her that Jane is a respected scientist.

"Let me go instead. Do you really want your reputation tarnished by following a potential mad woman into a government facility? Everyone knows I've a wild and potentially illogical side, but I never get into any real trouble. If anything does go wrong I will call you. Plus, I owe Xena a lesson."

Jane chuckles at Darcy's attempt at reasoning, she's also confused by the lesson and is about to ask about it.

"Don't ask."

Jane shuts her mouth accordingly and tosses the keys to Darcy.

**++Lady Sif++**

Darcy goes into town searching for Sif. " _Where can I find Xena: Warrior Princess? Imagine how she would look on a horse, riding into battle striking fear into the hearts of men._ " Darcy continues with this mental soliloquy, she even imagines Sif as Boudica riding into battle, but she's dressed as Lady Godiva. Darcy squirms in the driver's seat and shakes the mental image off, just in time to see Sif enter the local pet store.

"Good day my good man, I require a horse." Sif calmly states.

The pet store owner looks up at the tall woman and wonders if this was an elaborate prank.

"We don't do horses, this is a pet store, we do cats, dogs, birds--"

"Then, give me one of those large enough to ride." Sif interrupts.

Before the owner can respond on how unfunny this prank is, they are interrupted by Darcy's honk. "Hey! You still need a lift?" Darcy inquires, she notices the look on the owner's face, she deduces that she just arrived in the nick of time.

**++Lady Sif++**

"I've done some strange things, but this would be my first attempt at infiltrating a government facility. Is this your first attempt at crazy break-ins? Have you done anything like this before?" Darcy is giddy with excitement.

"Many times...but you are brave to do this."

Darcy smiles at this and explains she's doing this for Jane, since Jane's reputation might become irrevocably tarnished, while she could explain this as a misguided attempt of youthful discretion on her part.

"How noble of you, you appear to be the most noble and intriguing person I have met in this realm." Sif smiles at Darcy, Darcy responds with a smile of her own.

"Realm? Realm? _Yes I know you could probably be an alien, but seriously realm?_ "

"You think me strange? Good strange? Or bad strange?" Sif effects her killer smile on Darcy, they are lost in each other's eyes.

Darcy almost swerves off the road, "I swear Xena will be the death of me." They both chuckle at their shared moment. Darcy apologises, for few minutes they share indiscreet glances, then Darcy asks the question.

"Who are you, really?" It's easy to believe she is homeless person with a rampant imagination, but Darcy realises she could be ruining her life for a woman she doesn't really know. Yes, this woman with soft lips, hazel eyes and reserved strength. This woman who can stop her train of thought with a single smile. A woman, who she can't help but trust, even if she's only being guided by lust and a case of potential adventure.

Sif sees Darcy deep in thought, she knows the signs of doubt anywhere. She sighs in tiny frustration, while her continence swells with pride and she smiles, "You will see soon enough. _You will all see soon enough and admire me in all my glory._ " Sif mentally adds gloating, her pride making her forget her mistake, she thinks all is forgiven with her father. She thinks her return to Asgard will be met with glorious reverence.

Sif tells Darcy about the Bifrost, how this rainbow bridge is used. " _Well someone seems to be tasting the rainbrow. I hope I'm not crazy._ " Darcy continues her mental soliloquy. She looks at Sif and says "I hope you are **not** crazy."

**++Lady Sif++**

By nightfall, they reach the heavily guarded government facility. Darcy is perched on the ground with a pair of binoculars examining the site from a distance. Sif is behind her planning how to make a strategic entrance.

"Well, that's definitely not a space debris. I'm no expert, but aren't you supposed haul the wreckage away to a secure containment site, since it's supposedly radioactive. Not build a city around it. Seriously every good sci-fi nerd knows this."

"You will need this" Sif takes off her jacket, placing it on Darcy's shoulders. Darcy is perplexed and concerned by this, "Huh...Why?"

Sif hears the sounds of thunder and smiles, she believes all is forgiven, she's ready to retrieve what is rightfully hers. "Wait here, my lady. Once I've retrieved Mjolnir, I will return what is rightfully belongs to you and your friends. You have my word. Deal?"

"Seriously?! Nope. Do you think you can just waltz in and out with all our stuff. Yes, I would be eternally grateful for my iPod. Geez, I'd sing to you again, if by some miracle you got it. I might even throw in a lap dance and become the Queen of England, while we're at it." Darcy tosses out a dry laugh.

"No, I'm going to fly out. I also intend to hear that enchanting voice again, and look forward to what I hope a lap dance is." Sif smiles at her and then leans in for a kiss, she's not even surprised when Darcy responds in kind. The kiss is languid, it holds a promise of untold delights. Sif breaks it, leaving a surprised Darcy, whose left starring at Sif's retreating frame. "Yup, Xena will be the death of me."

**++Lady Sif++**

The air is electric, thunder rumbles, lightning strikes. Sif is renewed, Darcy might, who is she kidding, is turned on; the SHIELD agents are experiencing difficulties with their electronics. A breach in their defences is noticed, two agents are assigned to check it out.

The two drive their jeep to the location, where Sif swiftly takes them out. Darcy still observing, sees this swift display of strength, is shocked and intrigued by this. Sif takes a raincoat from the jeep, she also takes the guard's radio and a headset. She hears the fallen guards' commanding officer giving an order to check on the two agents. She lies in wait, taking out this agent when he gets close. She knows her cover would soon be blown, so she hurries taking off one of the hats and wearing it above her covered head.

She makes progress by listening to the radio, while trying to appear as normal as possible, making a slow but effective progress deeper into the facility. The inevitable alarm is activated, when the three bodies are discovered. With the alarm activated, Darcy decides this might be a good time to call Jane. She is met with Jane's voicemail, where she informs her that they might be in real trouble.

Thunder rumbles, lightning strikes, this time they have brought a friend - rain. Sif is now truly in her element, she believes all is forgiven, she tosses the radio and hat, pulls down the hood of the raincoat. She feels the rain, smells the air, she is electric, she is the goddess, she takes a deep breath and sprints to the entrance of the makeshift facility. Darcy continues to watch in awe at Sif's progress.

Sif fights her way through the facility, Darcy is left watching this silhouetted progress, she might not be able to physically see this progress, but the silhouetted progression is enough. She winces at every punch, grunt, kick and throw as if she were in the facility. Especially, when several men are thrown or kicked out of the facility, thanks to its flimsy fabric. It seems during Sif's smackdown, she lost the raincoat, through these holes she sees Sif effectively dispatch agents swiftly. Then Darcy notices the oddest thing in distance, a man on a crane with a bow and arrow. It might be state of the art, but it still was a man on crane carrying a bow and arrow under torrential rain.

The man on the crane is impressed by this unknown woman's efficiency.

"Barton talk to me." His radio chimes in with Agent Coulson's voice.

"Do you want me to slow her down sir?" Barton asks, while drawing his weapon. "Or are you sending more guys for her to beat up?"

"I will let you know." Agent Coulson retorts.

Sif is now so close to her goal, she can see it. She smiles and saunters towards it, but she is suddenly stopped by a brute of a man. She smiles at him from her displaced position, she proceeds to stand.

"You're big, but I've fought bigger." Then proceeds to punch him with a right jab to the face, the man responds with a right hook to Sif's face, another punch to her stomach and another hook to the face. Then, the man proceeds to push her through the fabric, they land on the now wet grounds. They struggle for dominance, the man briefly gains an upper hand by attempting a chokehold on Sif. Sif elbows him the ribs thrice knocking off balance, she turns them over now he's on his back, while she attempts to gain the upper hand. He tosses her away, they both get their balance as best as they can, but Sif is the quicker of the two. Sif proceeds to perform a front dropkick to the man's chest. The man topples, with Sif landing on her back. He tries in vain to get back his stamina, but he's knocked out cold by Sif's well timed front kick to the face. Sif walks towards her prize.

"You better call it Coulson, 'cause I'm starting to root for this woman." Barton is impressed, his weapon is still drawn, while he waits for the order. Agent Coulson is also impressed and watches.

"Last chance sir." Barton reminds Agent Coulson.

"Wait, I want to see this." Agent Coulson responds with bated breath.

Sif wraps her hand on her old friend, she smiles triumphant, she squeezes and pulls. The Hammer does not budge. She pulls again. Mjolnir refuses. She wraps both hands and pulls and pulls and pulls and pulls...Mjolnir remains stoic.

Sif steps away and looks at Mjolnir, she looks to the sky, looks at her hands, looks at Mjolnir again and back at the sky. She screams in defeat, in total submission, she has failed, she has lost. She screams as she falls on her knees. She knows her purpose, she accepts her punishment.

Everyone feels her pain, Darcy can see it, the fallen agents can see it, Barton stays his weapon and knows this unknown enemy is defeated. All the agents just stand there. Agent Coulson is forced to continue. "Alright, show's over. Move in."

Sif stays there, kneeling in defeat as an agent cuffs her hands behind her back. Mjolnir tries to assure its former welder that her time will come. It flashes its symbol, but all Sif sees is - she is unworthy

**++Lady Sif++**

Far away in Asgard, Heimdall stands at his all seeing post on the Bifrost, sees Sif's pain and ultimate defeat. However, he also sees Mjolnir's message. He continues to stand guard at his post, he hopes Sif will understand eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So very sorry for the delay, life happened - don't worry I won't bore you. Those who follow me on Tumblr understand my odd approach to everything...okay they might not understand. Finally sat down to finish this today, it seems I might have forgotten how to write this. Hopefully, you will not have to wait for almost a year for the next chapter. Might as well warn you, I didn't really proof-read this in my excitement, so I'll probably fix it later. All mistakes are mine, some are the iPad's autocorrect function's fault.


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